- A MATH PROBLEM: If a car leaves New York City carrying two redheaded chick singers on a three hundred mile drive how many times can they stop and still make a 7:00 PM gig the following evening?
- WILD ANIMAL SIGHTINGS: 3 deer, a herd of Alpaca, 1 cranky snapping turtle, a raven, wild turkey (of the non alcoholic variety)various pigs, cows, cats, dogs, horses and one vicious snake which Laurel swears was only a garter snake. Wendy Lane did not stick around to ask it.
- Being roundly trounced at Scrabble by a DRUMMER is not something of which to be proud.
- Is a large taxidermied bear an appropriate souvenir? Does he have to wear a seatbelt?
- There was a gig in here somewhere. Music was made, applause was heard and all was right with the world.
- Ice cream is always better when heralded by a giant chicken sign.
- A trompe L’Oeil fireplace in a hotel room is a nice touch but it cannot make up for marshmallowy beds, spiders in bathroom, and lack of a mini-bar.
- Is it really possible to maintain deep philosophical discussions on the nature of life and art when there are outlet malls every fifty miles?
- While we’re on the subject if we stop and shop at said mall on the way back from a gig is it tax deductible?
- Mapquest is NOT our friend.
- ROAD TRIP WORK RULE: No matter what work you bring along, or how well intended you may be the only thing accomplished in your million hour car ride will be much staring out the window while muttering “I really should get to work”.
- Don’t hit the skunk. Do. Not. Hit. The. Skunk.
- You cannot post pictures of your trip on your blog if the camera never leaves the confines of your bag. “Want to see my pictures of Altoids, assorted hygiene products and loose change?” does not have the same ring to it as “See I told you big foot really does exist!”
- ANOTHER MATH PROBLEM: If you drive five miles out of your way to save three cents a gallon on gas will that justify an extra scoop of ice cream at the Big Chicken?
- Large doses of Diet soda and Smartees may keep you awake, but they won’t make you any more interesting.
- You can have a hat, or well coifed hair, not both.
- Mile #598 of a 600 mile trip is not the best time to begin your blog post. (especially after copious quantities of the aforementioned stimulants)
So what are you up to this summer? Are you traveling? Working? Just hanging out in the backyard with your feet in a kiddy pool? What’s your greatest road trip story ever? Do tell all, and you could snag this month’s RedHead award, a nifty travel version of Scrabble, guaranteed to save you the humiliation of ever losing to a drummer! We’ll announce the lucky winner on July 30th.
See you around the BBQ!
Wendy Lane & Laurel